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England x Reader

its a nice, warm afternoon and you decided to go grocery shopping today. after an hour or so lugging around your buggy, you pass by the baking aisle and see a very attractive man trying to reach some flour on the top shelf. he was struggling a great deal, so you decided to pull along your heavy cart and help him. you reached your arm up slightly and slipped it into the palms of your hands. "Reaching for this?" You say, handing it to him.
the man furrows his many eyebrows and snatches the flour out of your hands. he may not be noticing, but you had your eyes fixated on his brows. "I-is that...Maybelline?*" you ask, outstretching the word 'maybelline'. his eyes grew big and a confused face shot threw. "Huh?!" he had doubts for you. after a few seconds of longingly gazing, you reluctantly shake it off, feeling a bit stupid. 'Oh nevermind..." you were pretty scared of his reactions right about now. He obviously didn't take it so harshly, he blushed a bit out of embarrassment (he noticed your staring)
then thanked you for helping him. "My name is Arthur, but you can just call me England." His voice was so calming and smooth, so relaxing and...wait, did he just say Arthur? Oh my gosh, you knew an Arthur growing up as a kid! a jolt of excitement rushed up through your body and you asked him "Could your last name, by any chance, be Kirkland?" your warming smile caught his attention with a firm grasp. he smiled himself. "Why, yes, but how did you know?" the excitement has built up inside you, then it exploded out as a forceful hug around his rather slender figure.
"Oh silly, you don't remember me? It's _____, your old best friend!" he blushed a bit at the sudden contact, but then a lightbulb flickered in his head. "Oh, _____ darling! I would've never recognized you, you've changed so much, love!" and my has he himself. you could drool over him anyday, anytime. he turned around quickly to place the flour in his cart. as he was doing so, you noticed he was holding a small notepad in his hand. when he turned back around, you pointed to it and asked curiously "whats that for?" he looked into his hand then showed it to her. "You mean
my scone recipe?" your face drained instantly to a 'wtf' face. "Seriously, you're STILL making those nasty things?" he was shocked at the comment. "H-huh?" he gasped, slightly hurt. you snatched the notepad out of his hand and carefully studied the recipe. after a few seconds of the inspection, you spot the error. "Ah, don't worry it's not your fault! Look here," you point to one of the ingredients "Its 1/2 teaspoon of salt, not 1/2 tablespoon!" he startes at the pad, then looks over at you. "Y-you know the recipe to scones?" you proudly nod your head. "Yup! no wonder
they were no good, there was too much salt in the darn things!" you both laughed and continued chatting, catching up with each others lives. after a few minutes of conversation, england brings up a suggestion. "Maybe later tonight, _____, you could come over to my place and we could have some tea. Would you like to?" again, his voice was calm and soothing. "of course I would!" he flashes you a warm smile and you both say your goodbyes.


"the tea will be done in a minute, feel free to make yourself at home, love!"
his house was HUGE, like a mansion. he had fancy cut lawn, along with stepping stones leading to the carved front door, and a garden fountain in the back yard. inside, it was all warm and welcoming. with the autumn color scheme, the nice comfortable furniture, and all these other wonderful things that made you go "Ahhhh.." you decided to plop down on the livingroom couch and relax a bit. as all the tension from your body started to drain, you examined the room a bit more: a t.v, a handcrafted bookshelf filled with encyclopedias and spellbooks, a stupid gnat that you swatted
away from your face, and in front of you a glass coffee table with coasters, a lit candle, and a diary. "wait, a diary! this could be fun!" you said to yourself as you grabbed at the book and opened it up eagerly. you read every word, every page. most of the entries were boring and somewhat depressing. you expected much more out of poor iggy. then, you came to the latest entry- it was just after he got home from the store today. it read:
  'Dear diary,
I've just ran into an old friend of mine, _____. she's still as bubbly and cute as she was when we were little. Gosh, I couldn't help but to tear up after I got home. I can't believe how much i've missed her.'
right after that sentence, you spot a moist drop that had soaked into the page. was he...crying? england? crying?! you felt a little touched after reading that last sentenced, so you decided to keep reading.
'I asked _____ to come over and have some tea. I was surprised when she said yes. To tell the truth, i'm nervous. I mean, what do I wear? I don't want to be fully dressed out, seeming that i'm trying too hard, but I don't want to look butt ugly either.'
you 'awwwd' as you were reading about his decision-making about what to wear, like some type of chick. suddenly, you heard footsteps behind you. RIGHT behind you. your face grew hot and your heart beat out of your chest. then, you gasped in for air-england had breathed on your shoulder. "What are you-" before he could finish his sentence, you had clamped the diary shut and quickly sat it back down on the coffee table. "Oh nothing, just...uhm, reading." you tried to act all smooth, and surprisingly it worked. "Well, the tea is ready~" he walked around you with a silver tray to show you.
he nudged his head towards the kitchen. you followed him all the way outside to the back porch. he sat the platter on a small white painted fancy table (type thing XD) then walked around and scooted your chair back and invited you to sit. you did so, and he scooted you in, like a gentleman. "Wow, he must be trying his heart out to impress me," you thought in your head. he took a teacup and sat it out in front of you and poured it for you. he added a couple of sugar cubes in it and stirred. he then sat down beside you and repeated the same for him. "Cheers!" he said, lifting up his teacup.
you giggled, lifted yours up also, and tapped it against his.

~~ Later tonight ~~ (AND SO THE LEMON BEGINS >;D)

you and arthur had so much fun today. "I can't wait to come back another day!" you say in a flirty tone, putting your shoes back on. England blushed and nodded a bit, but something was holding him back from smiling. you looked back at him with a worried look. he had his arms outstretched for a hug, and his eyes were watery. he really missed you. "Aww, what's wrong?" you get up and hug him tightly. you didn't really know how to describe the atmosphere you were feeling when you were hugging him, but it felt... a little dirty. "Uhm, I better get going.." you let go of him and start heading for the door, but a hand on your shoulder stops you.
when you turn back around, englands face was practically up in yours, your bodys against each other like a magnet. "_____," your face turned a bright red when he said your name, "I-I want you.." you shrieked out mixed feelings of excitement, nervousness, and embarrassment. "W-WHAT?!" all of a sudden, england reached his hand around your ass and squeezed it, whilst taking his other hand and bringing your face closer to his. all of a sudden, your lips press deeply against his. it wasn't pleasant, but forceful. but the longer you kissed, the deeper you sunk in sheepish seductiveness. you started to groan inside his sweet sugar-tasting
mouth. he slid both hands down to your waist and pulled you to his bedroom. your lips broke apart and he shoved you onto the bed. "Woah," you said surprised, "I like the new Iggy!" you flexed your finger devilishly, taunting him to come closer to you. You could already see his VERY noticeable boner in his pants and the pinkness flushed all over his face. all so quickly, he climbed over top of you, bent down and kissed your neck. he teased it a little, running his tongue behind your ear, nipping at your jugular, breathing his hot breath all over you. this turned you on so bad that you totally just ripped a hole in your shirt to
reveal your breasts. England smirked wildly at your babaloos as you continued ripping the shirt up into bits and pieces. "wow, ____, you were blessed with such fine chi-chi's!" he grunted, unbuttoning his pants and sliding them down to reveal his miniskirt he had on underneath it. well, he must've planned this whole thing out! digging your hands into his pants sliding them down the waist, the englishman laughs hysterically and unzips your pants to get some action down under. "Augh, yes!" you screamed, "I want it all, iggy!" he nodded fiercely, then started digging his finger around your panties. he traced it up and down, slightly giving you a tickling sensation.
naturally, this made you gasp wildly, ready to take it on full-fledged! all in an instant, you lift up his man-skirt and noticed he wasn't wearing an 'under the butt nut hut'! this gave you the chance to yank on his dick closer to your face and lick all over it. this got him ultra hard and shocked at the same time, so he yanked on your panties and ripped them in half, and your baby generator was right in front of his face! arthur turned himself around to do all-around oral sex. after a while, the grunts turned into moans, then to screams. "Hey, turn your face back around to me and shove that floppy disk into its console!" you say abnoxiously. "Anything for you,
____!" arthur positions in the missionary state and proceeds to make harsh love. just then, he forces his london inside! you scream as he continues his thrusting swiftly, laughing a bit in your face. after some moments of pleasure, england looks over to the direction of his closet. he stares for a minute, then yells "Shut up flying mint bunny, can't you see im busy, you git?!"
* Maybelline is a shanaynay reference, lawl XD can be found here -> [link]

Requested by :iconshadiee4129:
i hope you guys enjoy! ;D
Add a Comment:
PsychicTomato Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2016
This is a rough lemon laced with crack
fioleeXever1 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2016
Awww FMB just wanted to make a porno D:
0CrystalizedGodess0 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2016  Student Digital Artist
I- THis LOOks ViOlent BuT At sO HOt
CandyFlightTV Featured By Owner Edited Feb 1, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
Flying mint bunny is lucky because i want to kill it :(
Stars-of-Sorrow Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2016  Student
all the names for the parts definately made me snort
I kinda stopped reading-
All of the errors like capitalisation and no space between paragraphs made it hard to read.
Honestly the story itself isn't bad but-
Atuladventuretime Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2015
chi-chi's ? lol wut ? XD
Captain-Oceana Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2015
....flying mint bunny how long have u been thereXD
supdude111x Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2015
SilverNeko1 Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
A mini skirt?!
aiko-aria Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2015  Student Artist
I love it!!
Stars-of-Sorrow Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2015  Student

This is amazing
galaxysnowleopard Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
Sh*t just went from 0 to 100, real fking quick! XD I'm dying!
PinkiePie11219 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Floppy disc, I can't bReaThE!! I am at a loss for words, this was inspirational
chibiwolfslove Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2015  Student Filmographer
The mint bunny tho XD
xXMistyFurXx Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
The word choice in this fanfic just killed me. XD
ragexthexfurious Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Same! The entire time I read this,I kept thinking, "That diction, though."
homestucklov35 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Omg I'm dying
xXForgetRealityXx Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist

yey for another Shane fannnn!!!
ragexthexfurious Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
MakaAlbarn012 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is amazing.
Moymashed Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2015
Well ..... That escalated quickly. I loved your choice of words though.
AfraidToBeHappy Featured By Owner May 27, 2015  Hobbyist


"chi chi's"

"under the butt nut hut"

"baby generator"

"his London"
QuantumTrance Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
and dont forget "Babaloos" XD
AfraidToBeHappy Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2015  Hobbyist
QuantumTrance Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
i dont even know how author-chan comes up with dem awesome words XD
Randomsinger11 Featured By Owner May 16, 2015  Student General Artist
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ FLIP THAT TABLE.
┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(°□°ヽ) FLIP THIS TABLE.
┻━┻ ︵ \\('0')// ︵ ┻━┻ FLIP ALL THE TABLES.
nerdygummybears13 Featured By Owner May 6, 2015
*has the same face as Derpy*
WELP.........................*starts to lmfao*
England: *slowly looks on phone screen and blushes* O//////O.....I was busy.
Me: *screams and falls in the floor* T-T
MrsCreepyDiary Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I can't stop myself from laughing!!! OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
England: what are you laughing at..?
Me: pffft nothing...PFFTHAHAHAHA!! 
Neko1Kirito Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Student Writer
felicianos-pasta Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
omg cry  that was beautiful
animegeek1235 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2015
Scotland: yo *sees them* no *close the door*
AnaMariaSenpai Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Best comment XD
animegeek1235 Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2015
I know righ6 Freddy eyebrow wiggle 
AnaMariaSenpai Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Deal With It (Freddy Chat Icon) 
animegeek1235 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2015
FNAF Killer Fan Rage Intensifies (Chat Icon) the fan will always have a place in our hearts
AnaMariaSenpai Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Five Nights at Freddys 2- Chicas Cupcake -Icon GIF <----how about mr.cupcake ? just look at him , he's so sexy that he makes you want to eat him up !Spooky Scary Swiggity Swooty Marionette (Chat Icon Freddy is .... Twerking? (Chat Icon) 
animegeek1235 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2015
If corse we want to eat him HES A CUPCAKE
AnaMariaSenpai Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Bonnie is a Boss (Chat Icon) 
(1 Reply)
oh flying mint bunny you crack me up
CuddleMuffinZ Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
'Under the butt nut hut' I have never in my life heard that!! XD
SilverNeko1 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You haven't?! There's one for a bra, but I can't remember what it was.

"Over the shoulder boulder holder" or something XD
CuddleMuffinZ Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
My goodness these phrases are amazing! I think I might use one at some point X3
SilverNeko1 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
gayisbae Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2015
sorrynotsorrycupcake Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
baileycasad Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
XD It killed me when he said "Shut up flying mint bunny I'm busy you git!"
Ladybugg042602 Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2014
GAH lemon always gets to me and gives me a nose bleed
Add a Comment:

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Submitted on
June 30, 2012
File Size
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Mature Content


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