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Submitted on
June 28, 2012
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7.7 KB
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(Contains: nudity, sexual themes, violence/gore, strong language and ideologically sensitive material)
Poland x Japan x Reader


you are neighbors and best friends with Poland(Feliks) and Japan(Kiku). they are your homies but also they are dating. you totally are in love with that "engrish" speaking chink, but that hipster pink lovin polska is a total cock block!
one day while you are at their side of the duplex Poland comes down the stairs in slow motion wearing a new ass hugging blue jean mini. out of no where the song "honkytonk badonkadock" started playing the the back ground.

"Kiku, Check it!" Poland gets to the bottom of the stairs and walks seductively over to me and japan sitting on the couch. "_____ totally gave this to me! for ____ having such a fat ass, no offence _____, it like, fits like a dream!"

Japan stares awkward and disapprovingly at the crossdresser in frount of him. "Preez put on some pants" he says and goes back to watching tv.

poland flips his hair and turns around to go back up the stairs mumbling "hater" while turning around. you have never noticed what a juicy ass on a white guy befor and couldn't take your eyes off of them polish muffins. you reach out to grab it but stop yourself.

"he bring shame sometimes to me, but i ruv him" says japan blushing. "he is no female, but he wish sometim he was but i no want Feliks female but male...." he speaks, you not understanding a word he says, but you don't care, he is sexy right?

when a commercial breaks through the channel kiku was watching, you flip it to some paid programming show. it was for a pos-t-vac. kiku's face turns a tomato red when the commercial starts. "____, what are we watching?! Preese, change it!" a few seconds later, poland comes back downstairs, wearing absolutely nothing, screams out "No! Like, keep it!
Oh, and kiku, are you happy now?" he points to his head where he stuffed the pants over top of it. kiku turned around and gushed out a discusted squeal. "n-no thats not what i meant! i mean on your regs!"

you yawned at the sight of feliks and kiku fighting. you thought it could go so much better. after that thought, a lightbulb popped in your head, then you spoke up. "Ah, cut the crap you guys, make up!" kiku hesitantly looked over at you with a confused face, but feliks knew what you meant, and he was desperate for it. "you heard ____, lets totally make it all up!"
he grabbed the japanese mans face and squished it, giving him fishy lips. kiku swatted his hand away and fiercly shook his head. "No, not in front of _____!" feliks bit his lip and placed one hand on his hip. he wanted it NOW. "Ugh, like chill out, ____ could join us!" Kiku's face grew a bright red again as he looked over at you. he swallowed hard. "you mean like a mirage or fra?" Japan asked shyly.
"what the hell? I can never understand him" you thought. "Ohhhh, I tink he mean Minage a Trois! That means Threesome in like, french or something. Katy Perry taught me that!" Poland exclaimed. "thats totally what I meant! Wait, how did you know about that? you hate Katy perry!"
"I found it on Googre!" japan exlaimed
~

all of you head upstairs from the living room to the bedroom of poland and japan. poland is already nude so while you and japan are getting undressed, he pulls out the pole from the closet and dumps all the clothes on it in the floor. He somehow balances it on the floor and starts pole dancing on it! you stop to admire his womanly curves and his flopping softie. you raise your shirt over your head and ask japan to help you with the bra. japan hesitantly does, revealing your gargontuous boobens.
they are bigger than Ukraine's! kiku gazed into your wonderful breasts, then fiercly planted one hand on them. as he was fiddling around with the warm, squishy breast, poland wraps his arms around japan's waist. "Like, i want love too!" he takes one hand and fiddles with his crotch. japan let out a soft groan. again, you were bored at the sight of the two. you wanted more than some grubby hand all over your chest. suddenly, you forced your body closer to kikus and planted your lips against his.
poland giggled. japan immediately shoved his tongue into your mouth dancing around and exploring yours. his mouth tasted like sushi. as the two of you were making out hardcore, poland climbs up on japans back and reaches out a hand to grab your other breast. you groaned deeply into kiku's japanese mouth, which has already invaded all of yours. after a few minutes, the room grew hot and steamy. all of you were starting to grow sticky from the sweat on your bodies, but you guys liked it. a lot.
sudenly, japan screamed loud pulling away from you! poland had stuck his warsaw in japans ass! this cause japan to have an insti-boner. japan turned you around, sticking his mount fuji in your fartbox. you all formed a conga-hump line(you being the leader) and humped all around upstairs; in the bathroom in the entertainment room, laundry room and then to the staircase. you fall down the stairs! with of course, jack and jill tumbling after. you land back first, but poland lands on top of you, cock landing in your mouth.
of course, you take advantage on this, and start pumping. this earns you a loud grunt from the all mighty polska. he flips you around so you both can perform 69. Japan starts to masterbate at this. His face contourts into weird faces, almost likke he's about to cum, but then something happens! HE SPROUTS TENTICALS!!!!! All of you scream simotaniously! Then, the tenticals wrap around you and poland, and then procedes to insert tenticals into both of your orfaces; all of them, even your nose! This is so pleasing to all of you,
it is unlike anything you have ever expirienced before. It was all extasy for about 30 second until you realized you couldn't breath. right before you passed out, you bit off one of the tenticals in your mouth. "Mmmmmm, kalimari" you moan.
the tenticals return into japans body like it never even happened. Then Poland picks you up and sits you on his lap, inserting his dick into your ass. Then japan comes over and inserts his into your vag, whilst making out with you. it doesn't take long until the floor becomes a pool of sweat, making splash sounds as each thrust into you. even though your boobs practically attacked japans face while you were making out with him, each of yours faces were covered in the others saliva and facial sweat.
"i'm about to, ohh, IKU!" Japan shouts. "what does that mean? you pant. "CUM!" poland screams. "AND SO AM I!"
All three of you finish at the same time, both of your lovers pulling out and shooting their seed onto your body. After the insense, longest orgasm any of you have expirienced was over, Poland and Japan proceded to lick off the jizz from your body.
You all got dressed and setted down, entering the kitched to get something to eat after that calorie-killing 'workout'.
Japan walks over to you and stares into your eyes intensely.
"_____, I think I ruv you... I've never had such a excitring sex in my rife... will you be mine?" You are in total shock,as is Poland. "Excuse you?? Like, what the fuck, we are together!" Poland yells and whacks Japan with the frying pan.
"Srry, I ruv ______ now. Ish over, Feliks." Japan turns back to you. "So what do you sray?"
"Y-yes, of course! I've been in love with you ever since I moved in next door!" You exclaimed and hugged him.
poland walks out the door, saying to Japan on his way out, "Bitch please, you look like Rock Lee anyways."




ZE REND!!!~ :D
I TAKE REQUESTS! I'LL WRITE ANYTHING AND TURN IT INTO A BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF WORK!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconradgirl13:
radgirl13 Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Da fack did I just read? XD
Reply
:iconkitten156:
kitten156 Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
So confused...
Reply
:iconkawaiinekois:
KawaiiNekois Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
I'M SO CONFUSE THAT I LOVE IT
Reply
:iconaj10365:
aj10365 Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2014
"Bitch please you look like Rock Lee anyways"
Reply
:iconkiddokunsgirl:
KiddoKunsGirl Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2014
😂😂😂this was so weird!!! But I loved it! Being 1/4 Polish, I.... Nevermind :3 Woah... Im a Fem! Poland! Im a girl but i want to be a guy!! Im not gay, i just want to be a guy for like a week then turn back into a girl. Dgu chvskdjvn
Reply
:iconprussiadesu:
PrussiaDesu Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
"Bitch please, you look like rock lee anyways."

Bruh, I'm done. 😂 😂 😂
Reply
:icondownshiftplus:
DownShiftPlus Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2014  New member Student Artist
Lol. That was just...
Poland is mai bae. He is so fab! But Japan..woah. just fo' da sex brah? *snaps fingers*
AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT
Reply
:iconblazethemage:
blazethemage Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2014  Student General Artist
Dafuq did I just read? This was all messed up shit but it was awesome.
Reply
:iconpoetry-venting:
Poetry-Venting Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Mount fuji....fartbox.....conga-hump line? Dafuq did i just read? And japan is a tentacle monster? Not to mention falling down the stairs whilst frick fracking. And pole dancing poland. Badum tss. He is POLand after all.
Reply
:iconkiddokunsgirl:
KiddoKunsGirl Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2014
Wow.... 😂😂 i liked Mount Fuji the best. The others were too much.... Maybe I should try POLdancing cause im POLish 😂
Reply
:iconpoetry-venting:
Poetry-Venting Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
or maybe be part of interPOL
Reply
:iconkiddokunsgirl:
KiddoKunsGirl Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2014
YAS XD
Reply
:iconkiddokunsgirl:
KiddoKunsGirl Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2014
Oh god XD YAS
Reply
:icondiobites:
Diobites Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Da fuck did I just read? A work of art!~ xD
Reply
:iconferrets4ever:
Ferrets4ever Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
ok then......... that just happened...

Arthur WTF 
Reply
:iconprussiaskitten:
PrussiasKitten Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Okay, so i like, loved this... but I wanna know..... Did Katy Perry and Lady Gaga have a love child and that love child grew up as a crack head and like, have a love child with America, and that love child become you? If so, that is fucking awesome. This... I couldn't stop laughing my ass off. I am contemplating whether or not I should have my bestie read this in class tomorrow.
Reply
:iconask-mmd-arianos:
Ask-MMD-Arianos Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Poland changed into Hungary~!

Well, how we Polish say it:

"Polak, Węgier - dwa bratanki
I do szabli, i do szklanki."

I don't feel like translating it...
Reply
:iconkiddokunsgirl:
KiddoKunsGirl Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2014
O mój Boże mam go! i cześć, kolega polskiego dziecka
Reply
:iconask-mmd-arianos:
Ask-MMD-Arianos Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
*przesuwam się powoli za drzwi od Germańskiej rape-twarzy* Hejka...
Reply
:iconkiddokunsgirl:
KiddoKunsGirl Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2014
Och, moja ikona? ja nie wiem co jeszcze umieścić !!
Reply
:iconask-mmd-arianos:
Ask-MMD-Arianos Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Na pewno nie lamę... Lubisz kiciusie?
Reply
:iconkiddokunsgirl:
KiddoKunsGirl Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2014
Oczywiście! czekać co masz na myśli przez kiciusie? I like llamas XD
Reply
:iconkiddokunsgirl:
KiddoKunsGirl Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2014
Oczywiście! czekać co masz na myśli przez kiciusie? I like llamas XD
Reply
:iconask-mmd-arianos:
Ask-MMD-Arianos Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Kitties.
Reply
:iconkiddokunsgirl:
KiddoKunsGirl Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2014
I like mr meow meows too :3
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconyellowvixen:
YellowVixen Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014  Hobbyist
Wut? 
Reply
:iconbeigecascade:
BeigeCascade Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
"Gargantuous boobens"


this story was wild sort to finish! 
Reply
:iconbeigecascade:
BeigeCascade Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Start 
Reply
:icondjderpmuffin:
DJDerpMuffin Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2014
Katy Perry...
Fartbox...
Tentacles...

A POTION O GUINNESS I TEL UH
Reply
:iconthatonenerdchick13:
ThatOneNerdChick13 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2014
Dafuq I just read? It was weird. Creepy. Tentacle porn too. I APPROVE!
Reply
:iconkiyorihiroshi1234:
kiyorihiroshi1234 Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014
Japan sprouted tentacles. . .Its a mayhem *hides*
Reply
:iconfull-work:
full-work Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2014  Student General Artist
Sorry it did seem crack but funny! Fartbox...hhere ehehe..
Reply
:iconanzhelikabraginski:
AnzhelikaBraginski Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I have to be quietly fangirling and laughing in the inside.. GAWD I CANT FUCKIN TAKE IT ITS TOO HILARIOUS
Reply
:iconzhe7awesome13camcam2:
Zhe7Awesome13CamCam2 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
omg lol ....................... fartbox ......................... HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH THAT/HEAR IT FROM?!?!?!??!?!?!
Reply
:iconaisha101forever:
aisha101forever Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2014
Jesus

Uhm


So


Fartbox




I'll be using that a lot after this.
Reply
:iconwolfbunnypup:
Wolfbunnypup Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014
um this seemed crack fanfic sorry about Husky WTF face 
Reply
:iconthesoulmeister:
Thesoulmeister Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
"His face contourts into weird faces, almost like he's about to cum, but then something happens! HE SPROUTS TENTICALS!!!!!" I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going.
Reply
:iconemzyblue:
emzyblue Featured By Owner Edited Jun 20, 2014
I got confused ALOT. But it was awesome! Prussia agrees! Dont take it seriously but nothing is as awesome as prussia xD
Reply
:iconkenz447:
Kenz447 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014
Da fuq just happened?Confused 
Reply
:iconthisisadecentname:
thisisadecentname Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2014
OMG LOL XD

Sooyoung (SNSD)  I love this..
Reply
:iconxxnuttyxx:
xXNuttyXx Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014  Student Digital Artist
XDD IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!!!
Reply
:iconlnfluenze:
lnfluenze Featured By Owner May 26, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Um, okay, I've read A LOT of lemons but this one really sets itself apart.


I literally just thought (for once) "Dafuq did I just read..? Fartbox..? LOL. "
Reply
:iconiluv2camp99:
iluv2camp99 Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Hobbyist Filmographer
Mmmm calamari~ XD and dat icon haha oh italia.
Reply
:iconespanyolo:
eSPANYOLO Featured By Owner May 17, 2014  Student Writer
iM LAUGHIGN SO HARD I LOVE IT OMFG
Reply
:iconirushtwinkies:
irushtwinkies Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014
tentacle hentai!!!!!!! Love it
Reply
:iconhetalialover818:
HetaliaLover818 Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen I'm gonna cry
Reply
:icongemini-goddess:
Gemini-Goddess Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Ok I have seen crack Fanfics in my day, but this is just... Bravo *claps hands slowly*
Reply
:iconemilies13th:
emilies13th Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2014  Student General Artist
loves it >///<
could u do a reader x axis trio or japan x reader x italy?
Reply
:iconhinatathebloom1:
Hinatathebloom1 Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2014
loved the ending sentence XD
Reply
:iconlovelysora92:
LovelySora92 Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I got mind-fucked....lol ^_^
Reply
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